Monday, October 18, 2010

Opinions, opinions, opinions

We are told as we grow up that we should be steadfast in our beliefs, not worry about what others think about what we are doing, follow our hearts and believe in ourselves. But that is so much more easily said than done. Then one day you become a parent, and suddenly you find yourself being inundated with 'helpful advice', some asked for, most not. You really want to be the best parent, you put your heart and soul into the happiness of your child, yet despite your best efforts feel like you're doing everything wrong.  Then somehow, that 'helpful advice' coming from people who care really just irritates and frustrates you more.

Or is that just me?

When I was pregnant with my first child, everyone told me that parenting was going to be the most challenging and most rewarding job I will ever have. So I eagerly anticipated sleepless nights, dirty diapers, and endless loads of laundry, while I looked forward to my daughter's first smile, first word, first everything.  The funny thing is, the word 'parenting' encompasses so many aspects that it can almost seem deceivingly simple to new parents. I have come to discover that the word 'parenting', that 'job', is actually very complicated, and as my children get older, it only gets more so. 

In my case, I'm a very happy work-at-home mom. My son is three and my daughter is five and now in Kindergarten.  I decided to try and add another challenge to my long list of parenting challenges and home school her, and we are really enjoying it. My daughter is learning, thriving, and growing in a way that makes me so proud.  But my happiness is tainted slightly by those people in my life who don't think home schooling is 'the best thing for her'.  


She is happy.  I am happy.  Can we just be happy?  Nobody prepared me for the opinions.  Maybe nobody really could have.  Maybe it's just one of those things you have to learn while you do it.  Or maybe I'm just insanely naive. 

Dealing with opinions from other parents (and non parents) is a challenge I was totally unprepared to deal with, and I'm thinking EFT might be something that can help.  How do you get to that point emotionally where you can you deal with all the opinions that come from people you love and respect?  I never got to that point where I didn't care before I became a parent!  I just would love to be able to 'take or leave' helpful advice, let it go in one ear and out the other.  Not internalize it. Not pretend I'm fine with something while lying in bed all night stewing over it.

Maybe if we could have an EFT script prepared for us when we first became pregnant, that would be the best gift, the best 'advice' we could get.  Instead of telling us parenting is going to be a challenge, tell us "it's going to be a challenge and here is a tool to help you deal with all the opinions and advice you're going to get."  Wow!  Then whenever someone tells you that you're doing something wrong, or you should be doing something differently (and you didn't actually ask for that advice) you could 'tap' it away instead of internalizing it.

I know that people are always going to have their opinions, and honestly I love them for it.  I really do appreciate that my family and friends care enough to tell me what they think about how I'm doing my job.  It'd be a fantasy expectation to think I could somehow stop people from giving me their two cents, right?  But I can control how I respond to it. So Pam, I'm now passing my latest challenge on to you. Can EFT help put me in control of my response to all of these opinions? 

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